As we experience our surroundings, we come to have questions about them and usually go above and beyond to seek answers. After all, learning about our world and understanding how it works propels humanity forward. At the same time, there are people who decide to put on rose-tinted glasses and create their own tiny naive bubbles to glide through life without a care in the world.
But even if ignorance may be bliss, it won’t get them very far at the end of the day. So jonallenmaking decided to ask Reddit users to open up about the moments somebody said something so ridiculous that it made them think, “This person is out of touch with reality.” Over 18.6K comments later, we get to be reminded there are plenty of folks out there leading very different lives from most of us.
From hilariously delusional to painfully upsetting, these stories serve as proof that no amount of logic will make these people realize what’s right in front of them. Bored Panda has collected some of the most perplexing answers from the thread, so keep scrolling and upvote as you go. And if you have any similar encounters to share, be sure to tell us about them in the comments!
#1A guy at a party was talking about how great technology was. I agreed. He then proceeded to talk about how there are people made of computer chips walking among us and we don't know who they are. I took the opportunity to say, "I know. You could be one of them." And walked away. I stared at him from across the room off and on the rest of the night. Good times.
Image credits: [deleted]
#2I am a waitress and someone wrote “get a real job” on the line for my tip. It was a $150 tab with an incredibly demanding table. I work another job and I go to school full time, but whatever floats your boat.
Image credits: QueCassidy
#3I work as a psychologist at a school. One student had missed nearly 30 days of school in one term (55 days), so I was asked to investigate. The mother straight faced told me that she didn't want to drive the 2 minutes from their house because they had to cross a train track, and she thought having to wait for a train to pass was simply unacceptable. I thought she was joking. She was not.
Image credits: pokemonmastergoku
#4An American tourist I met (I live in South America), when I asked her how it felt to be so far from home, told me that she really isn't that far because these "so-called foreign countries" are actually located within the United States and they just fly the plane in circles for hours and hours to convince you that you're in another country.
Image credits: expressionlessmagnet
#5A colleague and I both had our laptops out at work. He had some movies on his that he was offering to share onto mine for later viewing. I suggested an ad-hoc wifi network as a means of quickly and painlessly transferring the files.
"Oh no I don't believe in Wi-fi".
Image credits: monotone__robot
#6A family friends son has autism.
I overheard my grandfather say, “when’s the kid gonna snap out of it and get a job?”
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#7I was struggling to pay bills and a friend was like, "Don't worry, your mom and dad care about you, they'll pay them for you". I told her I wanted to be a self-sufficient adult and my parents didn't have the money to cover my bills anyway. Her mind was blown.
Image credits: Ithelda
#8Overheard from a girl at college freshman orientation in 2008:
"I'm definitely worried! The economy is SO bad my parents had to sell our vacation home! Well you know the second one we don't visit as often...."
Yeeeeeeaaahhh.... don't mind me with my flat of ramen...
Image credits: coolwaifu
#9A friend's uncle, who is a spiritual healer of some sort, claimed one day he would be known as the first man to cure cancer with "spiritual healing techniques" whatever that mean.
The woman he "treated" stopped her treatments because she was "cured" and died inside six months. Apparently no one saw fit to bring that guy to justice.
His explanation was : "She died from a different cancer that was at the same place with the same symptoms at the same time and the first cancer was hiding the second one so he couldn't treat her properly because, you know, I couldn't feel the second one...."
I wish he would go to prison.
Image credits: acide_bob
#10"Don't vaccinate your kid" is at the top of list.
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#11My grandmother tried to get me to participate in a self-exorcism. She said I was posessed by "socialist demons".... because I visited Canada.
Image credits: do_u_hav_warrant
#12Someone seriously asked me“Wow, howd you get your baby so tan?” My Native American wife holding the baby. I always avoid this person when i can...how can you be so dumb.
Image credits: Beastman33
#13I grew up in a rich town not being rich. I will never forget this one girl saw me with my iPhone 3G in highschool (and I was super lucky to have it), and the iPhone 4 had come out the weekend before. She then asked me 100% seriously "Why don't you have the new iPhone?". She didn't really understand not everyone could afford the new iPhone every time one came out...
Image credits: footlesssushi
#14The grandparent of the child I nanny says things that make me think this all the time.
My nanny family doesn’t use any physical punishment at all. Well she said if we don’t start spanking the kids a (3 and 1 year old) they’ll become unruly demons.
Despite the no spanking policy she still spanks the 3 year old. We stop letting her babysit after that. She still wants to babysit and after a lot of begging we finally let her have the 3 year old for the weekend.
Well the 3 year old came back and was obviously spanked. Also despite her being potty trained she came back in a diaper too. Somehow she managed to undo days of potty training in a weekend. Now the 3 year old is back in diapers full time because she refuses to use the potty now.
Most older generations are so out of touch with reality when it comes to childcare.
#15I worked at a vet clinic, and a woman came in with her dog who had a horrible skin problem stemming from a flea infestation. Before I could even say anything, she claimed someone was after her, and had been stabbing her and her dog in their sleep with tree bark. It took me a few seconds to process that one.
She also told me that she knew we hadn’t actually euthanized her old dog (that she had YEARS ago) but that we had sold her to Hollywood. Apparently she saw her in a commercial and that was her proof. The dog would have been like 20 by that point so no, we didn’t “sell her to Hollywood.”
Honestly kind of sad, but the only person I have ever directly interacted with who was truly out of touch with reality.
Image credits: definitionofacuda
#16I have a few health conditions that my parents and grandmother never allowed me to disclose to my family or friends because "it would be difficult to get me married".
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#17My assh*le of an uncle once told my grandmother that it was her fault my grandfather got Alzheimers because she didn't take care of him well enough.
Image credits: squanchy_91
#18My sister’s mother-in-law told her that my niece can’t naturally be left handed and that if she is that it is part of my sisters job as a parent to teach her the “correct” way.
Image credits: Lord_Polska
#19A girl from my town thought the average income in America was 500k and that she was lower middle class.
Image credits: I_Cut_Shoes
#20I watched my grandmother shove a load of books off of a shelf at the bookstore the other day because she wanted one that wouldn't come out. When she walked away and left a pile of them on the ground, she looked at me and said "It's okay, it's their job to pick that stuff up." Speaking from a retail experience, no it's not. You're just adding extra work.
#21My mum once said that the sun couldn’t be a star because ‘stars only come out at night’. She hasn’t lived that one down haha
Image credits: megsyram
#22Used to have a friend who was really into crystals. She dropped 300 dollars on a thumb-sized piece of rose-quartz because it "is totally aligned with [her] body's natural frequency". I didn't even try to tell her she had been scammed.
#23“I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost, 10 dollars?”
Image credits: BigZar
#24“I get a lot of info from dr. Phil and dr. Oz, they are a great resource without having to do more than turn the TV on”
Image credits: chefjuice
#25My dad retired last November. After being out of work for a few months he decided he needed a simple job to keep him busy. He applied at Total Wine as a cashier and asked for $20 an hour because that’s what he thought minimum wage was up to.
Image credits: jfowl1992
#26"You know, if a baby is born underwater, it can live it's whole life underwater!"
I laughed a bit because it's a fairly well known dark joke, but then told her not to joke about that stuff because our coworker was pregananant. She was confused when I told her not to joke.
"It's not a joke, it's a fact!"
After some debate, I learned she genuinely believes if a baby is born underwater, it will grow gills and learn how to breathe underwater.
Same lady, 6mo later.
"Yeah, I'm saving up right now to buy a car. I have my eyes on this great 2007 Holden"
Her: "Why don't you just buy a new one?"
Me: "I don't have a lot of money, I wouldn't be able to afford a new car. I'm stretching the limit with this one as it is."
Her: "Ugh, it's not even that hard to afford things. Just budget!"
We were on the same salary, but she sold drugs on the side, her grandpa paid her $200/month phone bill, and her mom gave her a $250 a week allowance.
She was also GIVEN her car, by her parents, and was constantly complaining about how old it was and she wanted them to buy her a new one.
#27This girl I went to middle school with wouldn't wear a tampon because that counted as losing her virginity.
#28"You should get a part-time job so you don't have to take out student loans" - My dad to my college-bound son
#29My rich friend complaining that "the cleaner broke her back so I had to do the hoovering myself and feed the dogs! ". It was actually comical to listen to his hysterics, no regard whatsoever for the poor cleaner's well being!
#30My boss has some very weird one-liners. He's often (not joking) told me he was born in the same year as me, when he's a 60 year old man, and I'm in my twenties. He also also often refereed to himself as 'Little Boy Blue.' Nodding politely is 90% of my job at this point.
Image credits: [deleted]
#31In the East, it could be the COLDEST New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old Global Warming that our Country, but not other countries, was going to pay TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS to protect against. Bundle up!
Image credits: VVillyD
#32Weird guy I used to work with was explaining to everyone that scientists can record and play back people’s dreams in video form. He was convinced this was the case.
#33I worked at a little all-local, all-organic grocery store for a bit.
A lady comes in with a friend, they are looking at the eggs. She goes "Are these eggs organic?"
"Well, they're not certified, but these are grown here in town by someone who feeds them a non-soy, non-gmo supplemental feed. But they're on pasture most of the time."
"So they eat bugs."
"Well, yes, quite a few of them, it's good for organic pest control in the gar..."
(to her friend) "Those bugs could come from anywhere. This is why you have to ask the hard questions about your food, and really know what you're putting in your body. King Soopers has actual organic eggs."
#34A friend of mine is dating a woman far younger than him (he’s my age, almost 50, and she is about 20). I would be congratulating him on such an accomplishment (she is very attractive), were it not for the fact that she is so utterly stupid and completely out of touch with reality.
Her most absurd statement is when she told me that “stem cell research” is all about using the cells from aborted fetuses as flavoring in canned food and that therefore, all canned foods contain small amounts of dead babies, so she will not eat anything that comes from a can.
#35Former friend. He was the stereotypical "nice guy." Always going off on how he couldn't understand how girls weren't flocking to him cause he was so nice and intelligent. So one night a bunch of us are at a restaurant getting dinner and he proceeds to tell us how if he can't get a girlfriend, his backup plan is buying a mail order bride from Ukraine. Says he has it all planned out.
When we all try explaining that mail order brides are essentially human trafficking, he was devastated. His whole plan for getting a girl was ruined, lol.
Eventually he blocked us all from his social media and stopped talking to us, but that was more because he couldn't stand that we wouldn't bend over backwards for his every whim
#36In Portland, Oregon.. USA. I asked a traveler, "How do you like Portland?" And she replied. " I love it! It has the aura of a lizard" and I just got up and walked away. Portland can be weird but sometime I just can't.
Image credits: zoezodzodzod
#37My junior year of high school, in small town North Carolina, I took a psychology class for fun. My teacher, who otherwise seemed normal, heard a student playing Umbrella by Rhianna on their phone and said, "Turn that off, she's praising Allah and it's illuminati propoganda."
I assume he meant the repeated 'ella's but I could never get him to explain the rest of it.
#38"Good thing I'm not human."
Edit: Folks wanted elaboration. Dude in question was this obnoxious neckbeard who worked in the same warehouse as me, I'd done my best to avoid him, but as he tended to be loud, I knew he didn't just look like he fit the stereotype. One day, I was waiting in line to clock in (place was really particular about when you clocked in), and he was ahead of me. He starts bitching, to nobody in particular, that his upcoming holiday (it was around xmas) was going to be sh*tty and lonely. At this point, I'm feeling just a little bad for how much I've judged him, so I try to cheer him up a tad and engage in conversation:
Me: "Eh, it doesn't HAVE to be that way. You can decide it's you time, relax, do sh*t YOU want to do. I know I enjoy having time off where I don't have to answer to anyone.
Him: "Yeah, I guess. I'm just pissed. I was supposed to be going to this holiday party, it was gonna be great, but APPARENTLY [host's girlfriend] decided I wasn't welcome and now I've been banned."
(My will to encourage starts to deflate, as I can assume MANY reasons why this came to be, but I don't know for certain, so I decide to try to be kind while finding my way out).
Me: "Aw, that sucks. People can be frustrating."
Him: "Some people just can't be happy unless they're excluding someone, and for some reason it's ALWAYS me."
Me: "Yeah, I hear ya. To a degree, that's human nature, but it's no fun to be on the recieving end of that."
Him: (Voice dripping with arrogance) "Good thing I'm not human."
(At this point I've given up, my attempt to let go of my first impression proved thoroughly pointless. I nod, make a show of spotting a friend of mine, and scurry off to another line.)
#39I heard a guy complaining about the local christian college having a LGBTQ group on campus. apparently the school has an abstinence pledge or something and he said "if they choose to be gay then aren't they admitting that they are sexually active?"
he's nice but definitely out of touch
#40"Everyone has depression. It's impossible to be depressed every day."
#41Sophomore year of high school, in my chemistry class, this one girl got into a conversation about what causes the winter season with the teacher.
And she goes, “winter happens because the sun turns cold, right?”
Honestly, I’m still having trouble processing that one, and it’s been four years.
#42A very close friend “my money is my money but my partner’s money is also my money”.
To clarify she wasn’t going to accept her partner having access to her money but only her to his.
Also she’s single.
Image credits: viralplant
#43My dad, after watching countless hours of the History Channel, told me with a straight face that Eastern Asians are descended from aliens. He claimed it was "the only way to explain their squinty eyes."
#44My mom was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that corn could only be harvested by hand. I showed her videos of corn harvesting machines, and she insisted they were all CGI. It grew into a pretty significant argument.
Eventually she called my sister, who is a librarian, to ask her. When my sister agreed with me, she said "ok then" and never spoke of it again.
Image credits: Uki_EE
#45My grandmother (who doesn't live with us) told my out of work brother that he needs to "stop doing work around the house" because I, being female, should be the one doing it all. Never mind I'm the only one with any sort of income, lemme do all the housework too, k thx. We had a good laugh at that one.
Image credits: celestialwreckage
#46A woman I work with once said "I'm convinced I'm immune to cancer because neither my mom nor my grandmother had it."
Said lady has smoked more than a pack a day for 30 years but uses the above "evidence" as a reason why she's never had her lungs checked.
Image credits: MjrLeeStoned
#47I have an aunt who married a rather wealthy man. Like, she lives next door to the owner of the Dallas Stars and Texas Rangers. My cousin went to Spain a few years back to look at yachts her husband was thinking of buying.
She said while I was visiting "And pretty much everyone has at least a few million dollars in real estate."
Words failed me.
#48"Why are the feminists, but not menmenists? I feel like men have had to fight for their rights for a long time." Said by my uncle that everyone in my family hates.
#49Worked with a guy that was a major conspiracy theorist.
He said Zip codes are used in the case that the government wants to drop bombs on US soil.
Yeah. Because they wouldn't ever use coordinates, right Matt?
#50"If you're depressed, just cheer up!"
Woah, if you're drowning, just drink the water! Duh!
#51When I say "Google it" and they respond with "I can't do it/I don't know how"
It's almost 2018 and that person has 1000$ (1150€ in my country) smartphone in his pocket.
Image credits: cat-o-beep-boop
#52A guy from my school turned in a report on how smacking your son for "trespassing" in your neighbor's lawn is the same as shooting Mexicans crossing the border.
He also claimed that a My Little Pony was his headmate and that he could build a portal to the Pony World using wheat bread, melted copper, and a gallon of goats blood.
I wish I was making this up.
#53When the new store manager was introducing themselves to our team she started off with "i love retail, the reason I started my career in retail is because at the age of 14 I wanted a second horse".
One of the worst managers ive every met. Incredibly out of touch and just a bit racist.
#54The Guatemalan lady who lives near me who said she supports Trump and thinks that because she voted for him he won't have her illegal relatives deported.
#55The earth is flat.
#56“All it took was a small loan of a million dollars.”
“Why can’t poor people just get better jobs?”
“Everybody who get shot by police must have been a criminal.”
“Just go in there with your resume and don’t leave until you have a job!”
Disclaimer - these were said by different people.
#57My mum. She once told my husband - a guy that's been working to help support his struggling parents since he was 13 - that we should just have kids and God will provide for us. Her rationale was that she had seven kids and never once struggled.
Thanks mum, we can't all just quit college to marry a multi millionaire a decade older than we are.
#58My Aunt is a really nice woman, and very giving to everyone, but she once said, "I don't know how anyone survives on $100k per year." This was probably 15 years ago. For reference she lives in a $10MM house.
#59Any person that makes a blanket term about a whole race or group of people, to me, is out of touch with reality.
#60“I can’t go to jail, I’m Canadian.”(over heard a guy in cuffs say it to the American police officer who just arrested him)
#61My family argued that the fight for net neutrality was stupid because nobody actually needs the internet, we got by fine without it in the old days.
#62I worked at McDonald’s (Sydney, Australia) for the good part of my teen years.
One shift I was on register taking orders and this lady came up to me, she must’ve been in her mid to late 40’s.
She said, “wow McDonalds, you guys still exist? Haven’t seen you around in years!”
That is word for fkn word.
I was like .. wot ¿
#63My 50 year old brother asked me if I don't believe in God and hell what stops me from killing people.
#64When I was discussing how the Civil Aeronautics Board helped reduce travel prices around the country benefitting the consumer my rich aunt said thats why they should buy their own planes.
#65I work with a girl. She's 21, bit of a stoner, living with her boyfriend who works at pizza hut. We also work in food service. She thinks she wants to marry him, but he HAS to spend at least $10k on a ring. And when she gets married, She wants one room in her house that is all pink, so she can get ready and put her make up on. Then she's going to sit around the house all day smoking the "dankest weed" in a pink fur lined house coat. Then when her man comes home they "can do their thing".
#66I’ve got a few, all for the same guy.
“My art is famous in 31 countries.” mid thirties, lives on his brothers couch
“Thanks to a loophole I had found in the bank system,I used to have so much money that $300,000 on my coffee table was no big deal. I also used to rent the biggest I haul truck I could find, take a few friends to the mall and we would load shopping carts up full of whatever we wanted and fill the uhaul up.”
mid thirties, lives on his brothers couch
“I’m one of the top ~insert genre~ artists in the world.”
I could go on for a while.
#67You have a degree so that means you will get a job with high pay.
#68"Do squirrels lay eggs?" By my mom while discussing the squirrels in the rafters of her very old house.
#69"New fridges cost close to $10,000" - says my MIL who has a fridge that hasn't been working for almost a month. They are using one of the drawers to keep everything in as apparently that part works. But all the shelves are empty. Update: NOT talking about a built-in fridge. They spent about $5k on their current one, purchased 5 or 6 years ago. Refuse to get a repair man in.
#70I used to work with a spiritual healer. He claimed he had that third eye.
He said he watched himself drive his car though traffic in an out of body experience while not even being in the car at the time of driving the car.
He used to suck out my bad energy as well as give me energy balls. (These were actually really fun. It felt like real life Dragonball Z)
#71"THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT ARE TURNING THE FRIGGIN' FROGS GAY"
#72i had a person at work once say that you'd get hypothermia and literally freeze in about ten minutes..... it was around 20 degrees Fahrenheit..... his reasoning, your body is mostly water. (p.s. he told a skinnier kid that it would only take him 8 minutes for the same to happen)
#73After getting a "Dear John" letter from my ex that explains why she wants to get divorced, we were sitting in the car and she asks me...
"So after we get divorced, do you think we could get together sometimes and have sex."
She leaves me for another guy and has the balls to ask for casual sex after our divorce. Really quite pathetic.
I noped the f*ck out of that.
#74"God pays your medical bills"
#75My friend was going on about how the stock market is hitting records under Trump, and I just point out that we've been in a bull market since a few months after Obama got into office and we've been hitting records every week since 2013. I showed him a chart of the S&P 500 and he goes "I don't care about that chart".
#76“I SWATTed someone for attention”
#77“What’s more important, a friendship or a job?”
Considering I’ve had that same job for nearly 20 years and plan on retiring from it, combined with the fact that I’ve only known the friend for five years and caught him in more lies than I can count... well, I gotta go give that one some serious thought.
#78"Emotional labour isn't real."
#79Had a roommate a few years back. A mutual friend of ours helped us move in. The mutual asked us if we could let him keep a table and some chairs at our place until he moved into his new places as well and we agreed. After a few weeks I helped our mutual move his stuff from our place into his new place while my roommate was out. When he got home he asked where "his table and chairs went". When I reminded him that our mutual friend was going to take them back eventually he then proceeded to argue with me about how he had brought the table and chairs from home.
Thankfully no longer living with that bundle of joy anymore.
#80Really late to the thread, but I had a client call houses in the ballpark of what mine cost "scary ghetto houses."
I live in Texas, so you can surprisingly get a non-scary house for around 200k. I'm not ashamed.