It’s Monday: You’re staring down another week of work and need some convincing there’s a reason to feel anything but dread — something to give you hope you’ll make it to Friday. You need good clean jokes to share with coworkers, like work jokes that’ll help buck up the whole team. Having an arsenal of funny work-appropriate jokes at your disposal can be handy for lifting the mood and boosting morale when the stress of work (and everything else in life) gets the better of us. Good jokes for work are even handier in the era of Zoom, where social awkwardness abounds, and a corny joke can really take the edge off. With normal work stressors being compounded by the pandemic and all of its effects, creating brief funny moments in your day can help everyone’s mood. So, here are some of the safest and funniest jokes you can unleash at work.
Clean, Funny, Appropriate Jokes To Tell At Work
1. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
2. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? “You look drunk.”
3. What band was better than The Cure? Prevention!
4. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
5. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Fo drizzle.
6. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
7. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
8. What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence? Natural stupidity.
9. Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar? He got 12 months!
10. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Funny Work Jokes
11. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
12. You know what they say about a clean desk: it’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
13. I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
14. I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
15. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
16. I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
17. Why do I drink coffee? I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
18. My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
19. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
20. What’s the best part about teamwork? Someone else to blame.
21. What do you call stealing ideas from many? Research.
22. What do you call 12 people doing the work of one? A committee.
23. What’s the problem with unemployment jokes? None of them work.
24. I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
25. When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor.”
26. To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
27. When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”
28. I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
29. My boss wanted me to start our work presentation with a joke. So I used my paycheck as the first slide.
30. What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day? Went home.
31. What did the supervisor say to the calendar? Your days are numbered.
32. Why is my boss always late when I’m early and always early when I’m late?
33. My boss told me “dream on” when I asked if I could come into work late tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it!
34. When I stand around and do nothing, I’m lazy. When my boss stands around and does nothing, he gets paid for it!
35. What do they call the boss at Old McDonald’s farm? C-I-E-I-O.
Monday Work Jokes
36. The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
37. If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
38. Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday? Sunday. Monday is a weekday.
39. Mondays make me sad, but 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
40. I hate Mondays, but at least they only happen once a week.
41. What do you call someone who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
42. Why did the skeleton fail all his Monday tests? His heart wasn’t in it.
43. It’s all fun and games until Monday comes back around and you have to change out of your pajamas.
44. Did you know that a day on the planet Mercury lasts 1407.5 hours? That’s like one Monday!
45. Wanna hear a one-word scary story? Monday.
Friday Work Jokes
46. You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
47. My favorite f-word is Friday.
48. What do you call a day that’s not serious about anything? Casual Friday.
49. What’s the one thing that’s better than a Friday night? A day off on Monday.
50. What’s a cow’s favorite Friday night spot? The mooooooovies.
51. I’m great at multitasking on Friday afternoons. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
52. The biggest lie I tell myself every week is that I’ll be productive on Fridays.
53. What day of the week is an egg’s least favorite? Fry-day.
54. Whenever I feel sad in the middle of the week, I remember that the calendar says WTF: wait ‘til Friday.
55. I’ve haven’t been so excited about a Friday since last week!
Work From Home Jokes
56. What’s the best way to get a dozen people to say bye 300 times? A conference call.
57. I know I’m home when the Wi-Fi automatically connects.
58. When my friends ask what I do working from home, I tell them I work undercover because I stay wrapped in a blanket.
59. Things would be so much better if I could take the work part out of working from home.
60. Picking my pants for work is hard these days. I need to choose between my sweatpants and pajamas.
61. Even though I work from home, I’m still always late.
62. It’s hard being remotely funny working from home.
63. Every time I’m late to a Zoom meeting, I always blame network traffic.
64. My pets are my favorite coworkers.
65. Working from home means wearing the same sweatpants as yesterday and no one can do anything to stop me.
66. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my Word!
67. I like work when I’m at home. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Jokes About Jobs
68. What’s the worst part about working at a calendar factory? No days off.
69. Why are construction workers great at parties? They always raise the roof.
70. What did the nearsighted optometrist say when he was sick? I can’t see myself coming in today.
71. Why are fewer people going into archeology? Career advancement is in ruins.
72. Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions!
73. Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
74. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
75. What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
76. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field!
77. Why did she quit her job at the helium factory? She refused to be talked to in that voice.
78. What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!
79. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
80. Why is a doctor always calm? Because she has a lot of patients.
81. Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when he went the extra mile.
82. What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are fine? A satis-factory.
83. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
Editor’s note: All of these hilarious jokes for work are in the public domain. However, we spotted a few of these on sites like LaffGaff, BestLifeOnline, RD, and CultureAmp, which we can’t recommend strongly enough.